One of my best friends is very into herself. Of course, it's great for a woman to be confident, self-assured, and certain about herself. I wish that more women had the ability to think of themselves as the Aphrodites and Cleopatras of today. But Emma, well her confidence isn't the healthy, desired confidence we see in Demi Moore and Mischa Barton. It's taken the form of arrogance, pomposity, and pretentiousness. But does this contemptuousness have a deeper meaning? I can't help but wonder, is Emma's confidence a mask for diffidence?
Emma is a pretty girl. She's 5'5, has beautiful black hair, and big, gorgeous dark eyes. She's sweet and caring, we make fun of her for having a 'Minnie Mouse' voice. A girl like Emma should have all the confidence in the world right? An outsider would say that she does, but as a close friend, I'd say differently.
Take, for example, her tendency to flirt with any guy she can, only to have him swoon over her....and shower her with complements (and lunches and gifts). She has about nine or ten guys that she can call at any hour and manipulate. This was all fine and dandy and none of us cared...until about a month ago. Things started getting out of hand. Emma started to get really defensive and competitive when it came to guys. 'Her guys' were to remain 'hers' and she'd get angry if any of us would talk to them or be friendly. Even at bars and clubs, any time we'd go out as a group, she'd be on a mission to find a guy that would give her attention or buy her drinks. Patron shots are her favorite. Go figure.
(At $10 a shot, of course they would be).
A few weeks ago we went on a girls trip to Myrtle Beach, SC. We got a posh hotel room at the Sheraton and vowed to make it a strictly girls weekend. Well, it started off that way. We planned to hit the hottest club at the beach the first night we were there, Kryptonite. It was the weekend after July 4th and we knew it would be crowded so I called up a guy that lives in Myrtle that I had a brief 'fling' with a few years ago.
[Fling as in we talked on the phone for a few months and when we finally went out on a date, we didn't hit it off well. Meaning I didn't like his eating habits and his teeth.]
Anyway, Brit said he'd get us in VIP. It's sad that we had to reiterate to Emma beforehand that I was interested in Brit so that she wouldn't try and hit on him. She was on her best behavior for a while, well until she told him she was planning on going to law school. (Brit is in law school, by the way). Of course you can guess how angry I was, especially since I've been planning my entire life around applying to law school! We basically had to pull her away from him. Then she proceeded to hit on the scrumpcious guy Angel and Janey were chatting up. She pulled the signature 'Emma move.' She interupted their conversation and insisted on taking a picture with the girls. Then she asked who the guy was and what they were talking about. She kept her eye on him the entire night and towards the end of the evening (while Angel was taking care of me drunk on a bar stool, and Janey and Josie were outside hailing a cab) she reeled him in.
That's Emma for you. She tried doing the same thing the next night. I have to admit, there was something developing between Brit and I. He got us in VIP again the next night (this time at Celebrations Nightclub) and brought a few very gorgeous friends: Too fine, a pretty cute Turkish guy and Rik, a young, fun-loving guy we lied about to Emma. Janey told her that Angel had something going on with him a couple of years ago and was still interested in him (implying hands off). So of course, Emma was in a bad mood the entire night because Too fine was having a great time with Janey and Josie, Rik was interested in Angel, and Brit and I were getting closer and closer at the bar (it definitely had to do with what seemed to be the millions of drinks he bought me).
Needless to say, the guys were invited back to our hotel room at the end of the night and Emma bitterly 'passed out' early while we hung out. [On a side note, Brit and I just cuddled!]
Anyway, whenever something like this happens to Emma, she's angry and frusterated with all of us. She'll yell at Angel for throwing up (even though she's been there many times before), or she'll kick everyone out of her apartment for being 'too loud' even though she's okay with it on days when she has guys all over her. I've come to the conclusion that Emma's approach to men is fueled by insecurity. Maybe this beautiful, fun girl isn't as confident as she makes herself out to be? Maybe sleeping around, messing with men, and craving attention is what makes her feel better about herself?
Well we've given up. As her friends, we hope that she stops soon because her reputation isn't what it used to be. We've told her time and time again that her need for attention is turning into an obsession that'll hurt her in the end, with heartbreak...or herpes. She's beginning to be known as 'the girl every guy has hooked up with at some point.' If not hooked up, for sure gotten loads and loads of attention and flirtiness from her.
So what do you think? Does an individual's overconfidence and cockiness have a deeper, more pathetic origin?
-Virginia
